HEALTHIER VERSIONS OF UNHEALTHY FOOD (2024)

For the Cauliflower Pizza

Peel off all of the green parts from the top of the cauliflower and slice it in half. To remove the core, take a knife and cut around the top, bottom, and sides of the core and peel it right out. Set aside the core to cook separately later.

Separate the cauliflower into individual florets by cutting it into thick pieces. This will make it easier to trim out the stems of the cauliflower. Then, separate the florets by breaking them up by hand until you end up with bite-sized pieces. Set aside the stems to cook separately with the core later.

Blend the cauliflower florets and ensure that every individual piece is being chopped up in between pulses. Blend until you end up with a fine porridge-like texture that is not too smooth.

To get the most possible moisture out of the cauliflower, cook it in a shallow wide sauté pan until it is soft and dry. Dump the cooked cauliflower out onto some paper towels and spread it out until it is flat and allow as much steam to escape as possible. Allow it to cool for 10 to 15 minutes.

Once the cauliflower is cool, continue to get the moisture out firmly pressing the surface with paper towels. After placing the crust into a large mixing bowl, add eggs, low-moisture hand-shredded mozzarella cheese, and finely grated parmesan. Mix to combine.

Dump the crust onto a parchment lined baking sheet and form it into two rough individual pizzas. Par bake in a 400°F oven for 15 to 20 minutes until they are golden brown.

To make the pizza sauce, use a blender to combine, canned of chopped tomatoes, a few sprinkles each of dry basil and dry oregano, garlic, chopped onion, and a little sprinkle of red pepper flakes. Gently and quickly pulse a few times until the sauce is slightly smooth but still chunky.

For seasoning, add kosher salt along with any other spices or seasonings of your choice. Pulse to fully combine.

Top the cauliflower crust off with a thin and even layer of your pizza sauce and a healthy portion of grated mozzarella cheese and an optional portion of pepperoni. Place the pizzas back into the oven for another 8 to 12 minutes. Add fresh parmesan and basil if desired.

Allow the pizzas to cool off for 5 to 10 minutes before attempting to remove them from the parchment paper. Slice the pizza as desired and enjoy.

For the Cauliflower Fried Rice

Use a cheese grater to dismantle your head of cauliflower into tiny granules until you end up with a consistency that is similar to rice.

In a large non-stick pan that is coated with vegetable oil, scramble egg and set it aside for later. Wipe down the pan and use the same pan to heat up another small amount of vegetable oil for sautéing.

Sauté sliced shiitake mushrooms and let them brown up for 3 to 4 minutes before adding chopped ham and frozen edamame. Sauté for an additional 2 to 3 minutes until cooked and heated through. Then, add crushed clove of garlic and sauté for one additional minute.

Finally, add your cauliflower rice to the pan and sauté for 1 to 2 minutes before adding soy sauce, oyster sauce, and sesame oil. Sauté and cook everything together for another 1 to 2 minutes and add your scrambled egg to the pan and chop it up for even distribution. Top everything off with a generous sprinkling of sesame seeds.

Garnish your rice with some thinly sliced scallions and one last sprinkling of sesame seeds.

For the Cauliflower Macaroni & Cheese

Separate the head and the cauliflower florets and finely chop them up before placing each pile into individual bowls. Set aside the core as well as the stem pieces for later.

In a dutch oven, add water, the cauliflower core pieces and stems, and unsalted butter. Cover and bring to a simmer before adding in a steamer basket as well as the cauliflower florets. Cover and steam for about 10 minutes.

In one sauté pan, toast up some panko breadcrumbs and butter. In another sauté pan, add roughly chopped onion. Sauté each pan for a few minutes until the breadcrumbs are toasted and golden brown. Add a few freshly picked thyme leaves to the breadcrumbs and set aside to cool. Add chopped garlic clove to the roughly chopped onion during their last minute of cooking.

Once 10 to 12 minutes has passed, the florets should be easy to pierce with a knife. Set aside the florets for later and add the onion and garlic mixture to the cauliflower stems and cores. Cover and let it sit for another 10 minutes until the cauliflower stems and cores are soft and easy to puree.

After 10 minutes, add the mixture to a blender along with dijon mustard, a generous sprinkling of ground white pepper, a dash of cayenne pepper, grated parmesan cheese, and shredded yellow cheddar cheese.

Blend on high-speed until you end up with a smooth puree. Season with kosher salt as necessary and add it to the steamed cauliflower florets. Dump everything into a baking vessel of your choice and smooth it out evenly. Top it off with 2 more ounces of shredded yellow cheddar cheese as well as some more of the panko breadcrumbs that are tossed in 1 additional ounce of parmesan cheese.

Place into a 400°F oven for 15 minutes.